I’ll admit, I had it wrong at first, too.

Work hard, start a few side hustles, and save as much as you can while living on beans and rice.

Sometimes, I wish I never discovered the FIRE movement (short for Financial Independence, Retire Early).

After reading numerous articles about software engineers quitting their jobs in their 30s to travel the world, it consumed my life.

I wanted to live that reality, too.

Rather than saving the standard 20%, I shot for 50% to retire in 15 years and escape the 9-to-5 grind.

No more boring desk jobs, being stuck in meetings, or answering to a boss.

This was the way out.

Although it sounded pretty straightforward, I knew it wouldn’t be easy. As Theodore Roosevelt once said,

“Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty.”

Where it all went wrong

What started out as self-educating on personal finance turned into a borderline toxic trait.

Through the midst of the pandemic shutdown, the stock market was making news each day, attracting a new wave of retail investors, including myself.

It didn’t take long for me to become addicted to the stock market:

• Day trading
• Timing the market
• Using margin to buy stocks

Without even knowing, I was making all the wrong mistakes.

I was so sure that my stock picks would 10X my way to becoming a millionaire that I put my life aside. I neglected my family, friends, and especially my mental health in pursuit of the almighty FIRE.

Even as the world opened up again, I was glued to the screen.

Besides, my accounts were going up every day, stocks were always green, and I had no desire to spend any money.

But I think we all know how this story ends.

In early 2021, stocks came crashing down and I ended the year with six figures in losses.

That wake-up call taught me a valuable lesson.

The slow path to FIRE is underrated

After accepting my gambling addiction, I realized that FIRE isn’t a race to the finish line.

It’s not about sacrificing your life, your mental health, or your youth to reach some arbitrary number in your bank account.

Life keeps moving and doesn’t wait for anyone.

That’s when I shifted my mindset around what FIRE means to me.

1. Mindful spending

You can still treat yourself and live the life that you want.

Keeping track of your spending and not racking up credit card debt is already doing better than a lot of people out there.

With solid financial habits and a bit of self-discipline, you’ll start to think, “Do I really need to buy this?” whenever you consider a purchase.

A mindful spending approach allows you to regain control of your own money.

2. Finding balance

While decreasing spending is one end of the equation, the other is earning more money.

And while you might be able to sock away more each year with a higher-paying job, there is a fine line between ambition and obsession.

Sure, earning more money could shave a year off of your FIRE date, but at what cost?

If your constant search for more money is causing you anxiety or stress, then take it as a sign to slow down.

Plus, once you reach a comfortable income-to-life balance, you might even rethink your decision to retire early.

3. Retiring to something

The ‘RE’ in FIRE is something that I never really thought of.

Oftentimes, people who retire early find themselves mind-numbingly bored. The dream of lying on the beach all day is not what they expected.

And some realize that they don’t want to quit working entirely.

This boils down to understanding what you want your retirement to look like before putting in your two weeks' notice.

Ideally, you should already be living the life that you want before actually retiring so that you’re not jumping into a pool of the unknown.

But unfortunately, many are fueled by their resentment of their 9–5 that they simply think quitting will make them happy.

So they quit… and then what?

The true meaning of FIRE

Achieving financial independence means having options.

You can quit working and retire if that’s what you really want.

Or you can explore a different career path, perhaps a low-stress, part-time job to maintain social with the outside world.

It’s really up to you to figure it out, but don’t count on quitting your job to solve all your problems.

You’ll just be faced with a new problem, and it’s one that you’ll have a lot of free time to think about.

Slow down. Don’t give up years of your life chasing money like I did.

As cliché as it sounds, the journey is more important than the destination.

Money will come, but the lessons learned and life experiences along the way are what’s worth it to me now.